Traditions

 Dear Family and Friends,

Rinia Park

We would like to tell you some of the experiences we have had with the people here in Korçë. First, there is a family here that have been members for a few years.  The father had cancer and had been in the hospital in Tirana since we arrived. He passed away on Monday, Oct 16. They have two daughters, ages 14 and 19. We had met the 14-year-old at church, but the 19-year-old has been working two jobs in Germany for over a year to help pay for her father’s cancer treatments. The oldest daughter’s best friend, Greta, is our only returned missionary in Korçë, and speaks English very well. She learned English while serving her mission in England.  Greta called us on Monday to tell us about the father’s passing.  It was after 10:00 at night, and she was determined to walk over an hour and a half to get to the family’s home, and it had been raining all day. We decided to go pick her up, as well as the 1st counselor in the branch presidency, and take them to the home.

Funeral Wake

When we arrived, lots of family and friends were there helping to clean the house and prepare it for the arrival of the body. They wouldn’t let us help at all.  They just had us sit in the living room. About an hour later the body arrived and the casket was placed on a little stand in the living room. Traditions are strong in Albania, and one of them is to have a wake at the family’s home until the next day when they have the funeral and bury the body.  Lots of people started arriving, and the family offered everyone drinks and small cookies.  Also, a lot of the extended family were smoking, so it became a bit difficult to breathe. Both of the daughters speak English very well, so we sat and listened, and talked quietly with the youngest daughter for hours, and hugged her when she started shaking. Around 2:00 a.m., we decided we should go home. Greta and the 1st counselor wanted to stay the entire night, so we left them there. We got up to leave and hugged the family and friends. No one objected to our hugs, but we were later informed by the counselor in the branch presidency that it is tradition that people only give hugs when they arrive and during the night for comfort, but not when they leave. Only a few weeks in Albania, and we’re already causing trouble!

Sign that a wake was happening

According to tradition, they should have buried the body on Tuesday, but the older daughter couldn’t fly home before Wednesday morning. The mother was adamant that they wait until Wednesday, to allow her daughter that has been sacrificing to help her father, be able to see him before he was buried. They rented a refrigeration unit that could be hooked up to the casket to keep the body cool and make it last another day. That meant this wake lasted almost 48 hours. The tradition is that the family does not sleep until the body is buried. This poor family was already exhausted and they just kept on going…

The family didn’t have a way to get their daughter to Korçë from the Tirana airport, so they asked us if we would be able to go pick her up. We had a short nap on Tuesday afternoon, and at 9:00 p.m. we picked up Greta and started the 3 ½-hour drive to the airport. It’s only 75 miles, but the roads are steep with lots of switchbacks. We had rain and some heavy fog for about an hour, but arrived without any problems. We picked her up, and arrived back in Korçë a little after 5:00 am. We dropped the girls off at the family home, and then we went home to get a few hours of sleep before the funeral which started at 10:00.

Flower gifts for the family

The funeral consisted of everyone following the hearse from the home to the cemetery.  The branch president said a few words and dedicated the grave. Then they proceeded to fill in the grave. Anyone who wanted could get a shovel and put in a little bit of dirt. After the grave was filled and mounded, they took a glass bottle of water and poured it over the grave, then broke the bottle and worked the glass into the mound. We were told that it was a tradition to give the deceased water for his journey to the next life. After the burial, we all went to a restaurant for the “last lunch.”  This is another tradition that signifies giving the deceased food for their journey to the next life. It was a 3-course meal of soup, meat, and rice that is also very traditional. While this was a sad event, and we feel compassion and sorrow for the family, it was very interesting to see a different approach to funerals.

Baptismal Font in Pogradec

On a happier note, we also met the fiancé of Monika, the branch YW president. His name is Flori and he is such a nice guy, and we can tell that he really loves Monika. He had been talking to the missionaries a while ago, but stopped after those missionaries got transferred. We invited Monika and Flori over to our apartment for dinner, and also invited the Elders to help translate. The dinner was very enjoyable and one of the Elders really hit it off with Flori, who has a PHD in philosophy.  The Elders were invited to dinner with Monika and Flori during the week to talk more about the gospel of Jesus Christ, and Flori came to church today! Hopefully Flori’s investigation into the church will continue.

Meetinghouse in Korçë

We went with the Elders to visit a family who stopped coming to church because they were offended by one of the Branch Leaders. This family is the only family who are all baptized—except the family of the man who died—all four of them were baptized, including his mother. Anyway, this other family with 3 children live outside of the city, so we drove 15 minutes to get there. They don’t have a car—in fact, no one in the Korçë Branch has a car. This family lives way too far to walk, but there are little old buses that they used to take to the city for church. They are amazing, kind, faithful people who love God. We loved our visit with them, and wish we knew how to help heal their wounds. 

At Lake Ohrid in Pogradec

We walk almost everywhere and love it! One day on our way to a meeting, we noticed an older woman sitting on a little wooden stool facing the fence. A couple of hours later on our way back to our apartment, I noticed she was still sitting in the sun, and still facing the fence away from anyone walking by. Her head was down and she looked so sad.  I said, “I don’t know who put her in time out, but this is terrible”. I went over, knelt down, and put my arm around her and said “Përshëndetje”.  She turned, smiled and gave me a big hug and just started talking really fast. I couldn’t understand one word. She kept holding my hand very tightly, and I kept my other arm around her shoulders. It was very humbling and somewhat frustrating to want to understand someone so badly. We just listened until she stopped. I hugged her again before we left, and she let go of my hand. We didn’t see her for 2 days, and then she was out facing the fence again! We stopped and I hugged her and listened again. About 4 days later, the missionaries were with us and this time she was facing the street! When she saw us, she had the biggest smile and I hurried over to hug her. Thankfully the missionaries translated for us. She wanted to know why we were so happy and kind, and then she told us a little about her life. She has had a hard life and now lives alone. She didn’t complain, only stated facts. Now when she sees us, she reaches for me, calls me an angel, and tells us to learn or practice Shqip- something along those lines - and I smile and nod. I want to tell her we are trying and maybe she should pray for us.😉

After the harvest

Our cute Greta lives in a village quite far from the city and also walks everywhere. A couple of weeks ago a pot of boiling oil tipped over and spilled on her foot. It was a really bad 2nd degree burn, but she refused to go to the doctor. We offered to take her but we can’t/won’t force anything. Even with most of the top of her foot burned badly, she continued to walk to the church - an hour each way, to use the internet to do her homework. She is attending BYU Pathway to earn a degree. This online program is very low cost for all returned missionaries, and others in over 180 countries around the world to obtain a degree and have the opportunity for a better job and life.

We used Google translate to write a message to our neighbors who live downstairs and took that note with some homemade apple muffins to meet them. They are a little older than us and so cute and so fun! They invited us to come in and sit down, and promptly gave us candy and juice. They both read the note and then we were at a standstill. They are from Greece and speak Greek and Albanian. We asked if they spoke Spanish which they do not, and that is when the conversation became awkward. I ran upstairs to grab our phones to translate. We passed our phones back and forth and laughed a lot. They want to take us to Thessalonica, and some other places, and show us around.  Everywhere we go, people are kind and welcoming. Now when we walk on our street, the people will stop sweeping or working, to smile at us. They don’t move until we greet each one and their smiles get bigger as they greet us back. 

Rinia Park

There is a huge, beautiful park about ¾ of a mile from our apartment with a running/walking trail, as well as a few taverns and a large restaurant all inside this park! It is an incredible fairytale setting! There are so many benches in clusters throughout this park that actually get used! We love to see the people sitting and talking with each other in the evening if we are walking, or even the morning when we run/walk. One morning after I had run the trail several times and was walking to cool down, the cutest older gentleman started talking to me after I said, “Miremengjes” (Good morning). He took my hand and spoke. (I do not know what he

Cafe in Rinia Park

said.) He smiled, patted my back, kissed my hand, gave a little wave and shuffled on, and I wondered about his life and his story. Was he married, did he have a family, was he lonely, what has he been through…  On another day when Alan and I passed a bench filled with older gentlemen, we greeted them and smiled and waved. They all smiled and waved each time we passed them, and I wondered again about their lives and their stories. We want to learn this language! We want to sit down with these people and ask them about their stories because everyone has a story. After we greet people—especially the older ones; many will just stop and talk. We want to understand them and learn!  Every day we pray “Të lutem na beko me dhuratën e ghuhëve” (Please bless us with the gift of tongues). 

Cafe and Fountain in Rinia Park

The language is our biggest challenge—and the time difference with our family. It is much more difficult to communicate with our children and grandchildren. I am so grateful for the ability to send pictures, thoughts and texts to our grandchildren who have their own cellphones. We try to remain close and stay in touch, but the majority don’t have phones, so we try hard to Zoom on the weekends when our children aren’t working, and our grandkids aren’t in school.  It is hard to miss everyone and not be as accessible and flexible. When it is 1:00 in the afternoon for us, everyone is still sleeping because it is 4:00-6:00 a.m. depending on where they live. We want our family to call and talk- no matter what time it is… 

Baptism in Pogradec

We did learn a lesson with a pineapple. We haven’t seen hardly any pineapple and it’s difficult to find canned pineapple, so when we saw a Dole pineapple at a fresh food market, we decided to buy it. It had a sign 750 on it, which normally means 750 lek = $7.50. That is expensive for a pineapple in the US, but we were feeding our Mission Leaders the next day, so we decided to splurge. We bought other things and I gave the owner the money. After I got back outside, and counted the money I realized something was really off. I put the words in Google translate and quietly waited in the line to ask her if it was really that expensive. Yes, it was, because that number was per kilo, not the price. We had a $28.00 pineapple! The line was very long, the atmosphere was tense, the owner had been yelling a lot at her only worker, so I smiled and thanked her, and we decided we would just enjoy the only fresh pineapple we would ever eat here. Local produce is cheap, but the imported produce is “jashtëzakonisht” (extremely or exceedingly) expensive!

We are the only senior missionary couple within a 3-hour radius. We are in a district with the two Elders and two Sisters in Pogradec which is 40 minutes away, as well as our city Korçë. We were invited to attend the baptism of a woman in Pogradec last Monday, and then we attended the baptism of a man here on Saturday. It is always touching to feel the Spirit of peace and joy with these new members, as well as their excitement as they start their journey on the covenant path of Jesus Christ. 

Baptism in Korçë

We always write our letter together—one of us starts, then the other picks up, and back and forth. We each contribute with our viewpoints of experiences. We like it because both of us share. We love each one of you! We are grateful for the blessing of happy memories! Zoti e bekoftë secilin prej jush dhe familjet tuaja - May God bless each of you and your families.

Love,

Elder & Sister Manwaring